dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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