We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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