This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
