listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
