My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
