goodnight i made you a song goodbye
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
