She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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