Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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