its not stalking. its research.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
