you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
