we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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