just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
