I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
