just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize