was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
