I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
