my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
