It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
