I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize