Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
