i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
