that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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