he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize