he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
