I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
