i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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