Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think people are normalizing furries
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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