Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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