I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
