is your mom at the bar?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
