The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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