Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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