I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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