You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
