he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize