i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
