kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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