i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
