I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
