i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
