Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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