So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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