she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
