Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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