# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
