she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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