I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
