We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
