I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
