nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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