i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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