He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
