Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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