Screwed.edu
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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