I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
