he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
