Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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