I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
