This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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