Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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