found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
