If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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