It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
