Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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