shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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