your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
