I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He kissed a someone with a penis
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
