My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
