I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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