lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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