I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
