I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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