So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
