I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was confusing and full of hummus
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
